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​Paw Prints

A blog by the friendly folks at ​Midland Humane Coalition

Coping with Pet Loss

8/23/2022

Comments

 
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ACTUAL PHOTO OF WHEELS READING A BOOK
Hi! My name is Wheels.

​I am a Boston terrier and I have a story that I want to share with you. I hope it will help you or someone you know deal with the sadness and sorrow of losing a beloved pet. 

​
A friend of my owner’s came to visit our home last week. She was very sad and upset because her dog had died. That right there was enough to make her sad and upset, but she was also upset because someone had said to her, “the dog was old; it was for the best.”

“For the best?” I can’t think of one good thing about losing me.

My owner’s friend went on to say that another person had advised her to “pull herself together” since, after all, it was just a dog. 

“Just a dog?” What does that mean? I wondered. 

My owner buys me toys and special treats. She trims my nails and brushes my teeth. I ride in the car and sleep in her bed. She tells me every day how much she loves me. I’m special! Anyone who says that I am “just a dog” is barking up the wrong tree in my backyard.

But this did get me thinking about when a pet dies. What should my owner do when I go to the Rainbow Bridge? She will miss me terribly. I am her family.

Together, we read some books and talked to other people. We came up with some ideas that may help get past those initial weeks when grief is so severe on to days of happy memories of the life shared with someone special, someone like me —Wheels

Wheels died unexpectedly on August 1, 2018 and his loss was overwhelming to his owner.



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​Dogs live an average of 12.8 years; cats 15. Odds are that people who have pets will likely suffer losing them. 


Losing a pet can be devastating. Pets become family members to many people, and when they die, grieving for them is real. Grieving any loss is an individual process, and the time it takes for healing to begin is different depending upon the person and other circumstances surrounding the death.
Remember, it is okay to cry and to grieve for a lost pet. Unlike many relationships, you have spent every day with a pet and cared for them as you would a child. Loosing them is life-changing. 

During this initial period, try to surround yourself with family and friends who share a love of animals and sympathize with your sadness. Avoid sharing your loss with those who do not understand the relationship between people and pets. Although they have no intention of being callous, they simply may be unable to relate to your pain.

Often memorializing the pet brings comfort. One person shared that she keeps all pet’s collars and hangs them on the Christmas tree each year as a reminder of the special bond they shared.  Some people plant trees or flowers.  Others install yard art or statues in the back yard where the animal played and sunned. 

For children who have no understanding of death itself, the loss can be frightening as well as heartbreaking. Corinne Demas, author of “Saying Good-bye to Lulu,” said “I’ve found that writing about loss is one of the best ways to begin the healing process. Many children have shown me their own stories and poems about pets and people whom they’ve lost. Others have expressed themselves through art, while some children take comfort in simply sharing their feelings with a sensitive listener.” She added that if children are very young, writing stories and drawing pictures is a project the family can do together. 

If you have a friend or loved one who has lost a pet, here are some tips you might keep in mind:
  • Acknowledge their grief and tell them you are sorry for their loss.  
  • Send them a card. Greeting card stores and pet shops have a line of sympathy cards designed especially for the loss of a pet. 
  • Offer to take them out to lunch or share a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. They will be lonely and will probably appreciate your company. My friend treated me to an Andrew Lloyd Weber musical.  What happened to be the theme song? “Love Never Dies.”
  • A memorial donation to a pet charity is a way to help other animals who are in need and a gesture that lets the grieving pet owner know how much you care.  Check out MHC's tribute donation page  for a meaningful gift in memory/in honor of a pet. 

There are a number of books available that deal with losing a pet. Some are written for pet owners of any age, while others especially for children.

If you have children and pets, having one or two of the following books on hand may be a good idea:

“Dog Heaven” by Cynthia Rylant
“I’ll Always Love You” by Hans Wilheim
“Paw Prints in the Sky” by Warren Hanson
“Saying Good-bye to Lulu” by Corinne Demas 
“The Tenth Good Thing About Barney” by Judith Viorst

People and their pets form a very strong bond. The joy they bring to our lives is all that can make up for the sorrow of losing them.
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Shelia Huffman, Contributor/MHC Board 
​

Shelia recently moved to the Greenwood community of Midland from Dallas where she was a staff writer for White Rock Lake Weekly and a columnist for Bubblelife Media.  A retired travel agent and event planner, she has  been an animal activist her entire life.  Shelia  has a daughter and son-in-law in Midland, a grandson in Dallas and a granddaughter at Texas Tech. She lists cooking and writing about food, and,  of course, playing with her Terrier Mix rescue, Penelope, as some of her favorite things.
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  • Home
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